Oh no, I'm a protagonist!
by Code name Dragon
Summary: I just wanted to sleep. Apparently R.O.B.s like screwing with people.
1. Chapter 1

It was one of those days. Not a a bad day, where you're running late, the car won't start, it's raining, and you just started your period. It was a blank day. One where every moment extends into hours, and everything is a bit too much. Your mind just makes it all white noise, and you feel incredibly bored.

That pretty much summed up today. Mostly standard, and mind numbingly ordinary.

It meant I was pretty restless. Which is not good for trying to go to sleep. Yay I can't go to sleep, not.

Huffing for the thirty sixth time, yes I kept count, I rolled onto my back. I was very much wide awake and tempted to punch something.

Shoving off my blankets, I opened the door and tried to step out into to hall. Key word being, tried.

Instead of carpet, I hit open air and bright light. Which is how, when I tried to keep from falling; my doorway decided to vanish on me.

So, I was falling while half blind. But on the bright side, I didn't fall too far. Except I landed in water, and by the amount in my mouth; saltwater.

Lovely, did the gods want to add anything else? She really shouldn't have said that.

Something just brushed against her leg. Already imagining some sea creature about to bite her leg off; it was a bit surprising that it was just a chest.

Or it looked like a chest. She wished she had her glasses.

It was in fact, a chest. Now she just felt stupid. Well at least she could hold onto it and float.

Wait, that was either just a greenish blob or an island.

Okay, something was up. Random people dropped in the ocean don't just have a chest pop up and suddenly spot an island. Never mind that people don't just randomly drop in the ocean from their house that is nowhere near said ocean. Hopefully, she wasn't at the mercy of some sort of sadistic deity.

Knowing her own luck, it was most likely she was. Who was she kidding?

One nice thing was the water was warm and the maybe island wasn't too far away. And the mysterious chest was following her, great. That was a bit creepy. At least it wasn't trying to eat me.

Making it to the island was relatively easy. The problem was it didn't seem to be inhabited. Since she could lap the island in an hour, she knew there wasn't any people. But the damn chest was still following her.

Going by horror movie logic, she shouldn't open the chest. But, other than following her it didn't really have any bad vibes. It was not ominous, dark, or really anything that would ping her senses that something was wrong. Inspections resulted in nothing. It came off as ordinary. Except for the moving on its own.

Well, better find out now instead of driving herself crazy later.

She opened the chest.

Inside was a letter, three vials, clothing, a book, and a handheld fan. It was probably best to start with the letter.

_Dear Ross Riza,_

_Welcome to One Piece. We're not entirely happy with how things are going so far, so we brought you in to help. _

_We're R.O.B.s, random omnipresent beings, that have left you some gifts to help you blend in. Also since your body is from a weaker dimension we gave it an upgrade._

_Our gifts are new fireproof clothes, a manual to help you get started, vials that will give you three powers, and a weapon._

_Good luck,_

_R.O.B.s_

Well, I now knew I was fucked six ways to Sunday.


	2. Chapter 2

I think R.O.B.s might be perverts. The clothes I got were a purple sash to wrap around my chest, black under shorts that came to my knee, and a grey sarong. It wasn't long enough for a full dress, but I could tie it into a skirt that didn't have a slit up to my hips. Thank God my grandma loved wearing sarongs. There was also a leather cord to tie back my hair. It took some trial and error before I got it to stick. The outfit wasn't something I was used to, but it was better than wandering around in my underwear.

Okay, the fan were pretty damn cool. It was made from light weight metal that was wicked sharp. Best part, when I twisted it right it would split into two fans. So many options for mayhem. Which I was gonna need.

The book was split into three sections. One, katas and techniques for fighting with my new fans. Two, basically how you sail and survival guide. Three, haki training. So it was a bit daunting, but necessary since I didn't know which Sea I was in.

The vials were a whole other enchilada. The first was rusty red with R.H.&E.S. on it. The second was minty green with E.R.&F., kinda weird. Last one was blueish teal and had F.A. on it.

I wasn't to sure about them. What if they were actually poison?

Well the R.O.B.s most likely would not poison someone they brought to fix whatever it was they wanted fixed.

Maybe I should wait on taking them? But, I don't know if waiting would change the potency. If I waited, the effects could weaken, grow stronger, or stop entirely.

Better safe than sorry.

Like an idiot, I downed them like half priced shots. I regretted it.

They tasted like gasoline and set my nerves alight with pain.

Fortunately, I passed out. Unfortunately, I woke up with the mother of all migraines.

I think I could hear faint cackling in the distance. Probably the R.O.B.s laughing at my expense. Or I was hallucinating it. Eh, whatever works.

Creepy maybe not real laughter aside, I really needed some water. My mouth could give a desert a run for its money. Which meant I had to get up. Oh joy.

Well the island was small, so it didn't take to long to find water. The smell led me to a small spring. It seemed okay, and I really didn't care at this point. Which is why I only now noticed something weird. I didn't have my glasses, yet I could see just fine. In fact better than just fine.

Okay I could work with this no reason to panic. Wait, how did I smell the water from over twenty feet away? Not to mention I could hear ants chewing. So one vial had boosted my senses no big deal. Wait, I didn't have any scratches where I definitely knew I had scratches. So self-healing?

Nope, not gonna dwell on it. I got things to do. Including, finding some food. My stomach woke up at that and started rumbling.

Food it was.

Food it was not.

Somehow, the island didn't have berries or anything bigger than an ant to eat. Unless I wanted to eat pine bark. How does a tropic isle have pine trees?

Maybe I could fish and see if there was carrageen? If this place could have pines why not carrageen?

But this was more of a temporary fix. I was gonna need to be of the island soon, or end up extremely malnourished.

R.O.B.s are sadistic bastards.


	3. Chapter 3

The fact that there was carrageen, gave me an idea. I was on a tropical island that was covered in pine trees, ones that only flourished in colder climates; and carrageen grows in cold water in the Atlantic. So some that shouldn't exist but does. I was probably on the Grandline, but I could be wrong.

Assuming I was on the Grandline, which half was I on? Wait a minute, when was I?

I could have arrived at any time from Roger's Era to after the time-skip. Scratch that, if the R.O.B.s wanted me to fix things I would have to arrive before Marineford at least.

So I might be on the Grandline sometime before or during the first half of canon. And I needed to fix how things were going to go. But what exactly?

R.O.B.s wanted things to change. First thing, stopping Marineford and major players deaths. Second, Sakazuki cannot become Fleet Admiral. But he was a pretty big symptom of the World Government and Absolute Justice. Which was definitely something that needed fixing. Hell, the World Government needs an overhaul and stripping the Tenryuubito of power. Not to mention the Gorosei and Im. Overall goal, fixing things which means taking down a lot of people. Smaller goals; keep Ace alive, keep Thatch alive, keep Whitebeard alive, kill Teach, and make sure I was alive long enough to get it done.

A bit daunting, but I could do this. Who was I kidding? Right now all I've got is the clothes on my back, a how to book, a weaponized fan, and some carrageen. But I'm still gonna do it and then punch some deities called R.O.B.s. Then I would probably hug them for not dropping me somewhere worse.

Though a loud noise startled me from my thoughts, and caused me to drop the carrageen I had been washing. What on earth could it be?

_A bit short and somewhat of a filler but I hope you guys enjoy_


	4. Chapter 4

I almost went towards the noise, but luckily I'm not a dumb main character in a b-list horror flick. And there are slavers in this world. I'm not gonna be investigating strange noises for awhile. Not until I get a lot stronger, and actually figure out my abilities and weapon.

So I did the best thing; I climbed a tree. Turns out, I'm terrible at climbing trees. Plus, there wasn't much to hide in, and I couldn't turn invisible. Also, everyone forgets to look up.

Oh God, I probably just jinxed myself.

Who or whatever was coming, made enough noise to wake the dead. I mean, they either didn't know how to move quietly or they were doing it on purpose. Wait… oh fuck observation haki.

They probably knew where I was. But they didn't know if I was armed. More than likely they could take me with both arms tied behind their back. I could always use S.I.N.G. and make a break for it. Best option, unless worse comes to worse.

I thought I was ready; instead the branch snapped and I fell out of the tree. Something sprouted out of my back,and I collided with something. Next thing I knew my lips were on something soft and warm. Wait a minute my lips were on someone else's lips.

Jerking back, I noticed several things. My landing pad was a person, this person had a very large red pompadour, also a black beard, carried two swords, and wore a chef's outfit. I had landed on Thatch… I had kissed Thatch… He was now staring at me… and was squeezing my breast. There was also something on my back.

One, what the hell? Two, excuse me while I go crawl in a hole and die.

My brain was a bit out of whack. So immediately I punched him and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"PERVERT!"

That went well,not. And now he was unconscious.

So I was on an island, with a guy I just called a pervert, and had knocked out. I probably also ruined gaining an ally.

Well, shit.

At least I learned something new. Apparently, I can grow wings.

At least nothing worse could happen.


	5. Chapter 5

Note to self; never say anything along the lines of 'it can't get worse' cause it most certainly will!

I spotted sails in the distance as I dragged Thatch's heavy ass to his boat. Squinting, I could barely make out a word. My heart dropped. Boldly displayed was, "Marine".

Dropping Thatch, I sprinted to the boat. Grabbing hold of it's mooring, I hauled it closer to the trees. My mind going,"Hide the boat. Hide the boat!" on repeat.

*_T_*

Waking up from a knockout punch was not something I expected today. And seeing the culprit taking my boat towards the trees, was… Wait a minute. How in the Blues was she moving it that easily? She's tiny! Well, tiny for those living with Pops and some of the other commanders.

By the time I finished the thought, she had the boat past the treeline. And she was coming back. Why did she look scared?

"Come on!" She grabbed my hand and took off, "Marines are close by and there's only two of us. If they've caught sight of your boat, with it's Whitebeard flag, they'll most likely head our way. And I doubt you can outrun them. What the hell did you put in your boat? A boat that size shouldn't be as heavy as it is."

Okay, she rambles. Good to know, but now she's staring at me like I'm crazy. Say something cool.

"Your cute."

Not that, idiot. Great, I messed up that first impression even more.

"Seriously! There are Marines!" She was definitely not happy.

At that point, I was almost glad the Marines showed up. A good way to work out some tension. My companion promptly punched one of them and shouted, "Fuck off!"

I think Pops would like her.

Drawing both my sabers, I launched in to attack. They were only small fry, for the New World, and didn't put up much of a fight. They retreated after minute. Probably, to get reinforcements. Which left me alone with her again.

I should probably be angry about the punching and manhandling, but it wasn't like a couple of my siblings hadn't done worse. Anyway, she actually seemed to be a good person. Even if she was a bit puzzling.

Quietly, I studied her as she started grabbing things. She was on the small side in height, but had some well developed curves. Plus, her silvery blue-gray eyes, tanned skin, and light brown hair; she was somewhat attractive. Though… She's coming this way. Uh-oh.

*_R_*

Of all the hare-brain, numbskull ideas! Let me repeat, R.O.B.s were complete and utter bastards!

The New World, goddamit,; hey let's just drop off our completely unprepared fix-it protagonist in the most dangerous place and see how it goes.

And Mister Pompadour just kept staring while I got some of my stuff. Hello, Marines getting reinforcements! Need to leave!

Wait a minute that's ice.

We're screwed.


	6. Chapter 6

Turns out we're not screwed. The ice isn't coming from Akoiji. Someone's just messing with the temperature. Shit, he just tried to kill me. I don't know how to fight. Where's Thatch?

Thatch is busy with some goons. And Mr. Thermostat over here won't leave me alone. Sorry buddy, my brothers, and new reflexes, conditioned me in dodging. Though I really need to keep mind in the fight.

This Marine was so going to get a kick in the pants. I'm in a sash, shorts and sarong; enough said. And my wings just popped out again. Argh, they keep coming and going. Stop just popping into existence, Feathery Menaces!

Oh dear, I think I might have given Thatch a heart attack. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

At least that Marine didn't try to freeze him like the asshole in front of me. Not cool man, not cool.

God damnit, he nearly touched me! I am not about to die from hypothermia.

Stupid Marines, stupid devil fruits.

My brain suddenly put two and two together. Devil fruit weakness; seawater. Our location; island. How far away is the water; less than ten feet.

All I needed now was to get this guy to follow me. Then I either soak him or get him into the water. But how to get him to follow?

Welp, time to get creative. Which caused me to speak without really thinking.

"You're mother was a hamster!"

I'll go quietly die in the corner. That was so stupid.

"How dare you!"

Okay… that's a legitimate insult? And now he's chasing me.

I'll be fine if I just get to the water.

This might work. Hopefully it works.

I jinxed myself.

He didn't follow. But I could still get water on him.

Hahaha! I got him in the mouth with the wet sand and seawater.

"Bonk"

Looks like Thatch was done with his opponents.

With the Marines taken care of, it's time to get off the island. Though I gotta hitch a ride with Thatch.

And hopefully the Marines didn't catch my face. I cannot get a wanted poster before I've even begun.


	7. Chapter 7

Fuck my life, I should just join a covenant to make up for whatever past sins I did to deserve this.

I forgot something really important: my backstory. What in the name of… wait I could play the amnesia card? Nope, I'd get caught; to suspicious and people would try to trigger my memory. An islander who doesn't know how they got here? Wouldn't work, I'd be caught by someone from the Sea/nearby islands/ island itself. I'm gonna have to wing it aren't I? Yep. Fuck.

Unfortunately for me karma decided to prove she was a bitch.

A lot of pain happened, not being able to breathe, and choking on my own blood: all combined to kill me.

I got better; otherwise this story would be shorter.

My resurrection is something I blacked out. My body had been buried at sea. You get why I don't want to remember. Though I did find out another part of what was in those vials.

My body had adapted. I had gills and webbing between my fingers and toes; plus I could see underwater.

My shroud was too secure and I made it out. Swimming towards the surface; I just focused on the motions. Just not thinking about my (first?) death.

When I got a good look above water, the island wasn't in sight but I could see the Marine ship.

Fury hit me. Those people had tried to kill me. They shot me. They made me feel my lungs collapse along with part of my jaw and skull splatter.

Red filled my vision.


	8. Chapter 8

***trigger warning *** mentions of blood and murder

You know that moment, when you realize you've made an incredibly stupid decision and you kinda want to bang your head against the nearest surface; I had that moment. It also happened when I was clinging to the side of the Marines' ship. Murphy is a bastard.

But, I somehow didn't fall. Probably a form of protagonist luck; how else would I have made it up the side of the ship. Also, where was the lookout? Who doesn't post a lookout?!

So I had been killed by idiots. Wait, Thatch… Oh hell. The idiots got Thatch. The R.O.B.s probably set this up.

First, find Thatch and see what sort of condition he's in. Second, poison the idiots. I couldn't do brute strength, but I could just be sneaky. Third, clothes; I was naked when I did not want to be for the second time in 24 hours.

Okay, this is absolutely fucking ridiculous. They're passed out drunk. You know what, let's just slit their throats.

Deep breath, take the knife from the kitchen, and slice; it was almost easy. The knife was sharp enough that there was hardly any resistance. The skin just opened up and released the blood.

Another deep breath, they're dead now and you can't take it back. It didn't mean a part of me wanted to scream and claw my skin off.

Just focus Riza, get your things done. You've got a job to do. Don't screw it up.

Get up, get clothes and then find Thatch. Then you can break down, but you cannot do it now.


	9. Chapter 9

Marco and Izo were never going to let this go.

This, being him captured by Marines that were rookies in the New World. The fact that his family wouldn't know of his imprisonment until it was announced meant that there was no rescue coming. Him escaping was not very likely. He was basically pinned to the wall and unable to reach the locks. Not that it would make a difference; the Marines had removed anything he could use as a lockpick. Slumping against the wall he thought of the woman he met and witnessed her death; after part of her, he never did get her name, head was blown off.

Thatch had wanted to introduce her to Oyaji. Maybe, she could have become his sister. The day really couldn't get worse. Unless, he died.

Or maybe he was hallucinating, because she was unlocking him. Also, she wasn't dead; very, not dead. As in a thousand yard stare, tears trailing from her eyes, wearing just a coat, and splattered with blood.

Thatch decided to pinch himself. Nope, not a dream or hallucination. What the hell was she?

Unfortunately, that would have to wait; she was puking. Rubbing circles on her back and holding back her hair; he waited for it to pass. Judging by what just happened and her appearance; she probably just purposely killed someone for the first time.

Bringing her into a hug, he held her as she broke down.

"I'm sorry," she whispered over and over. Sobbing and gasping as she spoke like a desperate prayer.

"I've got you," he murmured back. Just holding her, for now.

She falls asleep, and he honestly can't blame her. He's able to carry her to the nearest bunk.

Having tucked her in, he goes to clean things up.

There's ten fresh corpses in the galley, and he sends them to the ocean. The blood hasn't dried, and the kitchen is stocked. He scrubs the blood away and makes broth. It's repetitive and soothing in its own way.

When Thatch checks on her; she's awake but blankly, and still covered in blood.

He gives her a bath and puts her in clothes as he brushes out her hair. She seems more like a doll, but eats some of her broth.

She refuses to let go when he takes back to the bed, so he lies down.

Quietly he sings a lullaby.

_"Bobby Shafttoe's fat and fair._

_Combing down his yellow hair._

_He's my love forever more._

_Pretty Bobby Shafttoe. _

_Bobby Shafttoe's gone to Sea._

_With silver buckles on his knees. He'll come back and marry me._

_Pretty Bobby Shafttoe."_

The lullaby is something my dad used to sing to me and it kinda fit the mood.


	10. End of Arrival Arc

It was a very good thing I woke up. Other than being able to finish my task, I managed to catch a good deal of Thatch's call to Whitebeard.

It would be six to eight hours before the Moby Dick arrived. I could get a head start.

I was not going to be adopted by Whitebeard for several reasons. First, I was not at a level that could see me staying alive as a Whitebeard pirate. Second, I am female and would become a nurse instead of learning to fight; I wouldn't be able to change things only from that position. Third, if I saw Teach I would attack him. Not a good way to get introduced to the crew. Finally, if I stayed with them I would eventually rely on Whitebeard's strength instead of my own. The crew was powerful, but relied on Whitebeard's power always being there.

It felt a bit dirty to leave after Thatch had helped me, but I can't afford to be passive here. To change things was gonna take a lot of work, and I could possibly slip if front of them or worse Teach.

Quickly I grabbed a waterproof and filled it with some clothes, since it already had some emergency rations and money. Sneaking past the galley, I made a break for it and dove over the side.

Praying it would work, I tried to breathe some of the water. After the third worst moment of my life, I could feel gills forming. And just in time because there was a loud splash above me.

Predictably, Thatch was trying to save me. Unfortunately for him, my altered biology allowed me to go down farther than his body could handle. I could now swim very fast, before he could reach me.

It still hurt. I liked Thatch and had, essentially, faked my death in front of him. What a mess.

So, out I swam to find the next part of my story.


End file.
